Day 4 - Christmas at a Funeral?

As I mentioned on Monday, the gospel reading at my Grandmother's funeral was Luke 2: 1-21, the birth of Jesus. The reasons for this are many.

• My Grandmother LOVED Christmas. She was born just before the big day, on December 17th (my Nonna was actually born on Xmas Day) and it was her absolute favourite time of year. She'd shop for gifts all year long, tucking them away, she would bake up a storm to share with friends and family and she'd prepare an enormous spread on the day.
  
• Her name was Mary. Her parents actually intended to call her Minetta Louise (after both her grandmothers). Her 8 year old brother, Howard, had other plans. "Those names are terrible!" he proclaimed. "It doesn't matter what you name her, though, because I will be calling her Mary." The other names became her middle names and Mary she was named.
• She was born in a chicken coop (not a stable, but close). Her family were living in Scarborough and constructing a house. The only structure on the land was a chicken coop, which my great-grandfather reinforced and made habitable. And that's where Grandma was born!

The real reason, however, has to do with the incredible hardships faced by Mary and Joseph. That part of the tale is often glossed over, but holy cow - what an awful situation.

This past weekend, we helped our friends Joe (Happy Birthday!!) and Isha move into their new house (about 5 minutes away! Woot!). This was significant because Isha was 38 weeks pregnant and totally tired and uncomfortable. I remember how pooped and ungainly I was at that point in pregnancy. And Mary had to ride a donkey for days on end en route to Bethlehem in that condition?

Can you imagine the discomfort? Long days on an animal, the heat, the uncertainty with respect to food, water, and shelter? And finally, having to give birth in a barn, far from family and home? Gah!

My Grandma's family were never well off, and the Depression was particularly hard. My great-grandparents and the kids were incredibly devout, resourceful and hardworking, though, and the family survived. My Grandma was also widowed with two kids and had to run a business all on her own - it was incredibly difficult again. But just like Mary and Joseph, she persevered and immense good came from the hard times. That's why she loved the verse in Corinthians, too - it talks about how "...our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." She believed that whole-heartedly, and so do I.

Day Three

We had visitors today -- my Mom and Nonna came by. My Nonna came back to my parents' place after my Grandma's funeral, so we got to see her again today. She's the baby whisperer (or the baby monopolizer!) so she and Teddy had a great time. They watched him while I ran out grocery shopping, since we're having a big party this weekend.

I'm not actually sure that party is the right word for it - it's Dave's 5th annual 24 hour movie marathon. Back in January of 2006, Dave (who'd never pulled an all nighter) hosted the first. It's been a tradition ever since, though the '09 version was technically in November '08 as I was very pregnant in January of '09. Since I'll be back at work in January '10, we're holding it in November again.

My Mom commented on the number of parties we've thrown of late and it's true. We've had one big gathering per month of late. To wit:

July - Dan and Clau's shower (though that was at their house, but Isha and I did all the food and prep)
August - Teddy's Baptism, with 30 guests
September - Dave's b-day, with only 12 guests
October - Isha and Joe's shower, with 40 guests
and now this. Not to mention parties we co-hosted in Georgetown in April (my inlaws' 40th anniversary), June (my father-in-law's birthday) and August (my mother-in-law's birthday). Whew!

There will be around 15 people at various times, but we feed them for 24 hours. Plus - I am Italian, so I cannot run the risk of running out of food! It should be a lot of fun.

In other news, I have been fighting off a cold since we were on vacation - longest, strangest illness ever. Is it wrong how excited I am at the prospect of going to bed before 9?

Day 2 - All Souls' Day

Today is All Souls' Day; it is also the day of my Grandmother's funeral.

The service was lovely. It took place in the funeral home and, like with my Grandpa Jack, my Dad and I did the readings (I am 3 for 3 at family funerals this year since Rachel and I read at my Aunt Flo's funeral in March). For those of you who are into this sort of thing, my Dad read two pieces - 1 John 3: 1-2 and Revelations 21: 1-7. And I had the good fortune to read my Grandma's favourite passage, 2 Corinthians 4: 7-18. I plan to write more on this when I have a clearer head, since I feel that reflecting on this passage because of her love of it was my Grandma's gift to me.

My Mom's side of the family was out in full force today - My Uncle Sergio brought my Nonna (Sally would have come but for Sierra being home sick), and Aunt Pat, Fred and Leah came all the way from the GTA. They've known my Grandma since they were kids (Serge and Pat were 12 and 9, respectively, when my parents got married) and they'd always loved her. My family - both sides - is just so awesome and I am so blessed to have them around.

I held up pretty well -- Grandma was nearly 93, after all, and she'd been really sick - but I shed a few tears as the priest shared some reflections (and as I'm writing this, if I'm being honest). My grandparents were a fun-loving pair, and one habit (that I'd forgotten about, actually) was how they'd say goodbye. They never wanted to see us go -- we lived a 3 hour drive away -- but they knew that visits couldn't last forever. To wish us fair travels and to make our final memory a happy one, they come outside and pretend to push the car to get it started. Then, they'd either stand in the driveway or (in inclement weather) in the front window and wave until they could no longer see us. I remember craning my neck as far as I could so that I could catch final glimpses of them wishing us a safe journey. It's something so simple and silly, but it was so them.

We had many, many years together and I am so very thankful. I also believe that we'll see each other again, and I am so glad that neither of them are suffering any longer. But I will still miss them very much because it's never easy to lose ones you love. They always LOVED my Aunt Flo, too, so I like to imagine that the three of them are hanging out together tonight.

It's been a really long day (and year, frankly) and I am sorry for the maudlin tone of this post. I know that loss and suffering are unavoidable and can strengthen us immeasurably, but is it wrong that I wouldn't mind a long break before losing any other close family members?

And as a final note, I will share with you the gospel passage: Luke 2: 1-20. It's a gospel passage that I can recite by heart because I have personally had to read it aloud so many times...at Christmas. It's the Birth of Jesus. I'll leave you to ponder why that was proclaimed at my Grandma's funeral. You wouldn't be the only ones puzzled - we all looked at each other when the reading started, thinking "did he hit the wrong page by accident?". There were some interesting reasons, though...

Here we go...NaBloPoMo Day 1

I've signed up for NaBloPoMo. This means that I will ostensibly be posting every day this month. Oi! I cannot promise fabulous content but content there will be. I should also warn my non-religious readers that there will be religious content this month. You can skip those posts if you so choose.

Happy All Saints' Day! We celebrated by attending the Baptism of Teddy's friend Arabella (Mommy is our friend Cat) at All Saints' Anglican church in Sandy Hill. It's a gorgeous old church right across the road from Laurier House. I'm not sure if William Lyon Mackenzie King (who lived at Laurier house after Wilfrid and Zoe left it to him) was a parishioner, but I do know that Robert Borden was one. I am such a nerd for Prime Ministers!

Today and tomorrow are Anglican Days for our family with the Baptism today and my grandmother's funeral tomorrow. For those of you who didn't know, my grandparents were Protestants. Well, Grandpa MacDonald was a Catholic and my Grandma agreed to raise her children in the Roman Catholic church; she had been raised in the United Church of Canada. She really loved the Eucharistic tradition and the creed, though, so when as a widow she married Grandpa Selby (a quintessential Englishman) she became an Anglican herself.

I always find Anglican mass...odd. It's so familiar, yet different. A bit like I've stepped into a fun house -- similar to what I'm used to but just a bit off. Today's experience was lovely, though. I am going to write about it later in the week, since I'll need blog topics!

And I'd better give my readers what they really want: photos of Teddy from Hallowe'en.

He was a polar bear. An incredibly cute one. Here's proof:

Mary Minetta Louise Selby, December 17, 1916 - October 28, 2009

I'm once again writing to ask for your prayers and good thoughts.

My Grandma died this morning; she was nearly 93. It was not a surprise. She'd been fading for a while, especially since my grandfather died in August. She had been hospitalized while we were on vacation and finally diagnosed with congential heart failure. Right before we got back from California, she was moved into a nursing home, but she was there for under 3 weeks.

She'd been in and out of the hospital for the past 2 weeks; she was moved back to hospice care on Monday. My Mom was convinced that Grandma would die on her birthday, but Grandma held out for a few more hours. Her funeral will be on Monday in Napanee.

It has been a long time coming, but it's still hard to process. My Grandma was a total character, and she's always seemed...larger than life to me. I am going to want to process some of this by writing about my memories of her, so I'm sure that'll show up here.

Grandma outlived both of her husbands, and survived every member of her immediate family by at least 25 years. She nearly died of Thyphoid when she was in her early 20s; as it was, she had to relearn to walk and talk and read during her recovery. She was not afraid of hard work. She was a talker, a total extrovert (I wonder where I get that from?!?). She would never go out unless her hair was done and she'd put on 'her face' of cosmetics. She taught me to sew on an old Singer hand crank machine that had been her mother's. She beat breast cancer in her late 80s.

Her full name was Mary Minetta Louise (Hawley MacDonald) Selby. I love you, Grandma, and I'll miss you always.

Even MORE incentive to Bet Red

Since I last posted about the Tomato Nation Donors Choose drive - last night at around 8 pm EST - TN readers have raised another $5k for kids. Crazy, no? But even crazier...

One of Sarah's readers (who has already given $3k and $8k US in matching funds) has promised another $5k match if readers bring the donation total to $120k by Sunday evening. That's $5k more worth of pencils and tubas and computer equipment and books.

Think it's impossible? Check out these posts and the related comments. TN readers raised over $7k in under 7 hours in order to get the last match. I've no doubt that we'll hit the $120k and get the match, but the more money we raise by Sunday, the more matching money we'll get from HP and the more chairs and telescopes and notebooks can be sent to needy kids.

Donate if you can. You'll be rewarded with more cute Teddy photos (and maybe some video) if you do!!

Have you Bet Red in 2009?

We're back from our trip! Well, we have been for over a week now but we've been consumed with a nasty cold and Teddy's sleep has been off. We're getting back into the swing of things, though, so I hope to post more soon.

If you're curious about our trip, why don't you check out Dave's site: He's recapping it and as usual, all the posts are hilarious. I will be writing the capstone piece, so stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, I am going to highlight an amazing campaign going on right now on a website that I love - Tomato Nation. I've been a devotee of the site forever (since 2000); Sars, the author, was a cofounder of my TWoP and she's hilarious. Each year, she asks her readers to donate money to projects at Donors Choose during the month of October and the results are astounding. Last October, Tomato Nation readers surpassed $100k ($250k raised since Sarah started the challenges) and so far this year, we've raised nearly $106k. That's from just over 850 donors! Donors Choose is an amazing organization - public school teachers in moderate and high poverty schools submit projects for funding and individuals can donate as much or as little as they'd like towards the projects of their choice. I wish that there was a Canadian equivalent, but alas - no dice.

I challenge you NOT to be moved by some of these requests, like the one for playground equipment for special needs kids or hands on reading materials for ESL first graders. Sarah's "Bet Red" challenge has some amazing projects highlighted and the more money raised by Sunday the 25th of October, the more matching money these projects will get from HP in a corporate match program. I'm giving to a bunch of these projects as my birthday gift; I funded some for my Mom's birthday, too. If you can give a bit, I encourage you to do so. The "Thank You" notes from teachers and students are just amazing, and it'll make you feel good, too!