I've been meaning to blog about this for eons. The incomparable Hallie from Betty Beguiles is hosting a discussion on this very topic, so there's no time like the present. Thanks, Hallie, for giving me that nudge I needed!
Several pertinent pieces of information need to be explained up front:
- Dave and I have known each other since elementary school (St. Francis of Assisi); he was two grades ahead of me. We become close friends in high school, then started dating my last year. We broke up 2.5 years in to our relationship, when we were both in University. And we got back together almost 2 years to the day that we broke up. We've been together since January of 2000, on-and-off since August of 1995. Wowza!
- I am a traveller. I've been to 9 provinces, 34 states, over 30 countries on 5 continents. I've travelled with my parents since childhood. Dave's family are not travellers. And when we got back together, it's one thing that he expressed a huge desire to do.
- Back on St. Patrick's day of 2002, I was finishing up my MSc. and Dave was working. I had a great deal of flexibility to travel, being a grad student, while poor Dave had very little vacation time only a year or so into his career. I'd just returned from a trip to Belgium with my parents while Dave stayed at my childhood home and looked after our cat. I know. I'd hate me, too.
Over green beer - which, while yummy, was inferior to the delicious Belgian brews I'd been sampling for the previous 10 days - Dave and I rhapsodized about all the places we'd travel together. I nabbed a napkin and wrote down our list. And I kept this Boston Pizza napkin in my wallet. We'd look at it from time to time. By then, we knew that this was it for us. We were just waiting for my job situation to work itself out.
Just over a year later - in June of 2003, we found out that I'd be working in Toronto for just over a year, then would be moved to Ottawa. Dave's boss was supportive of his transfer to the Toronto office. And we joked that he could start ring shopping.
Now Dave is notoriously laid back. I expected that he'd pick up a ring sometime over the summer or something. But here's where I need to give an ENORMOUS shout out to Dave's friend Jorge. Jorge has the most amazing jeweller (we suspect that they might be associated with the Russian mob) who only acts on referral. And as soon as Jorge heard that Dave was looking, he leapt into action. Within days, Dave had that ring burning a hole in his pocket.
But then - I was in Ottawa for an extended work trip. Then Leanne - my eventual maid-of-honour - broke up with her long term boyfriend on the eve of her 25th b-day. A girls' weekend was in order. Then, Dave's grandmother DIED. She'd been ill with terminal cancer, so it was no surprise, but the traditional mourning rights did put a damper on his ability to pop the question. The poor man had to sit on the ring for an extra two weeks!
Nanny's funeral was on a Friday. We had another family thing on the Saturday. And on Sunday July 6th, after mass, Dave came over to my parents' house. It was super hot, and he was wearing jeans. My mom and I mocked him and he gritted his teeth, ring box in his pocket. He was forced to bide his time until he was alone with my purse, then he made his move.
Minutes later, Dave started asking me about our upcoming trip to Chicago do visit my friend Ben. "I can't wait to cross that off the list!"
"It's not on the list, hon." I told him, dismissively. Yes - I am a prize.
"I can't remember -- what's on the list?" he continued.
So I yanked out my wallet. I glanced and the now dog-eared list...and noticed his handwriting. "Did you add something to the list?" I inquired. Then I read it.
At the bottom of the list of all the places we hoped to visit together, he wrote: "I promise that I'll take you to all of these places. But there's one condition..." ------>
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?" was penned on the inside fold.
Needless to say, my answer was yes. :)
We were engaged for 15 months, but we had our church and hall booked before a week had passed. We were married in our parish church one week after my 27th birthday.
We knocked a few of those travel destinations off on our honeymoon. In the past 7-ish years, we've knocked off about 70% of them!
The list now resides in our fire-proof box, next to our marriage certificate, our birth certificates and those of our children. I am so blessed.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
This pile of bricks...is ours alone.
So we just paid off our mortgage. Today. In just under 4 years.
A little background info for my American readers - mortgage interest in Canada is not tax deductible. I mean, you have the option of borrowing against the equity in your home and investing that, then deducting the interest from your income tax, which is a complicated way of making your mortgage interest tax deductible. But while we pay $0 capital gains tax on the sale of our primary residence, we don't get the benefit of making our payments tax deductible in the interim.
In addition, one weird little thing that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT is that our mortgage rates effectively reset every 5 years. We have amortization periods of up to 35 years (where 25 is standard) but we negotiate our mortgages for 5 years at a time. So those teaser rates that so screwed many Americans? Yeah - most Canadians don't know what an awful ride they're in for. I am so scared for my compatriots. No joke. And we have no excuse; we see what's happened south of the border. Do not get me started. We have liar loans. We have sub-prime mortgages that are -- wait for it -- back-stopped by the Canadian taxpayer. It's a GONG SHOW, and it's about to get ugly.
ANYWAY, we bought our house in May of 2007 and took possession in August. We opted for a fixed rate mortgage because rates were inching up at the time. No one predicted the craziness of late '08/early '09, after all. Our mortgage had some cool provisions - we could increase our payments by 25% AND pay up to 25% of the original value of our mortgage ever year as a 'pre-payment'. We immediately upped our payments, and set about putting down extra money each year.
I must be honest - we didn't do it without some help. I was one of the beneficiaries of my late Aunt Floriana's life insurance and pension. The money I received was plunked down on the mortgage. My parents also gave me some money from my Grandma & Grandpa's estate, which we also plunked down. But we've been saving like fiends to pull this off.
We'd managed to reduce our remaining amortization to 1 year 5 months with our renewal due in 1 year 3 months. I knew we'd be hit with a penalty to pay it off, so I thought we'd just wait it out and pay our usual payments. I called in last week to see how much I would have to pay now so that I could reduce the amortization to 1 year and 3 months (i.e so we'd owe nothing at the end). But it was then I found out that the lender would be willing to waive the penalty! We owed less than our permitted annual prepayment (that 25%) so other than the required $250 discharge fee, all we had to pay was the remaining amount. I had more than that amount sitting in their bank, so today we arranged a transfer. We're saving over $1500 in interest over the next year and 3 months. Also - no more mortgage payments!
In 60 days, we'll receive our official documents showing only our names on the title. But as of tomorrow morning, my online account will show that my mortgage is CLOSED. We are pretty excited. We celebrated by busting open a bottle of wine we'd brought back with us from our trip to Australia.
In other news - Veronica is finally interested in table food. And she's on the cusp of crawling. Big day around these parts!
A little background info for my American readers - mortgage interest in Canada is not tax deductible. I mean, you have the option of borrowing against the equity in your home and investing that, then deducting the interest from your income tax, which is a complicated way of making your mortgage interest tax deductible. But while we pay $0 capital gains tax on the sale of our primary residence, we don't get the benefit of making our payments tax deductible in the interim.
In addition, one weird little thing that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT is that our mortgage rates effectively reset every 5 years. We have amortization periods of up to 35 years (where 25 is standard) but we negotiate our mortgages for 5 years at a time. So those teaser rates that so screwed many Americans? Yeah - most Canadians don't know what an awful ride they're in for. I am so scared for my compatriots. No joke. And we have no excuse; we see what's happened south of the border. Do not get me started. We have liar loans. We have sub-prime mortgages that are -- wait for it -- back-stopped by the Canadian taxpayer. It's a GONG SHOW, and it's about to get ugly.
ANYWAY, we bought our house in May of 2007 and took possession in August. We opted for a fixed rate mortgage because rates were inching up at the time. No one predicted the craziness of late '08/early '09, after all. Our mortgage had some cool provisions - we could increase our payments by 25% AND pay up to 25% of the original value of our mortgage ever year as a 'pre-payment'. We immediately upped our payments, and set about putting down extra money each year.
I must be honest - we didn't do it without some help. I was one of the beneficiaries of my late Aunt Floriana's life insurance and pension. The money I received was plunked down on the mortgage. My parents also gave me some money from my Grandma & Grandpa's estate, which we also plunked down. But we've been saving like fiends to pull this off.
We'd managed to reduce our remaining amortization to 1 year 5 months with our renewal due in 1 year 3 months. I knew we'd be hit with a penalty to pay it off, so I thought we'd just wait it out and pay our usual payments. I called in last week to see how much I would have to pay now so that I could reduce the amortization to 1 year and 3 months (i.e so we'd owe nothing at the end). But it was then I found out that the lender would be willing to waive the penalty! We owed less than our permitted annual prepayment (that 25%) so other than the required $250 discharge fee, all we had to pay was the remaining amount. I had more than that amount sitting in their bank, so today we arranged a transfer. We're saving over $1500 in interest over the next year and 3 months. Also - no more mortgage payments!
In 60 days, we'll receive our official documents showing only our names on the title. But as of tomorrow morning, my online account will show that my mortgage is CLOSED. We are pretty excited. We celebrated by busting open a bottle of wine we'd brought back with us from our trip to Australia.
In other news - Veronica is finally interested in table food. And she's on the cusp of crawling. Big day around these parts!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Something for Arwen and Bryan
We interrupt this slowly evolving birth story with a request.
Most of you reading this either know or know of my friend Arwen. If you aren't reading her already, you really should be because she is amazing. As is her husband, Bryan. They are even more wonderful in person than online, a fact that Dave and I were lucky enough to discover last summer.
A few months ago, I talked a bit about how they were about to add TWINS to their family. And on May 12th, the identical twin boys arrived. Let me tell you - that night, awaiting their birth and trying to get the #moshertwins hashtag to trend was one of my favourite ever moments on Twitter! Linus Michael and Ambrose John were born a wee bit too early and are still in the NICU. Arwen and Bryan are total stars and are doing amazingly well with all this juggling. And since we can't all be there to help in person, we thought we'd do the next best thing - put together a Spiritual Bouquet for the Mosher Family.
I would love it if you'd head on over to this blog and contribute to the spiritual bouquet. I'd also love it if you could spread the word. The more prayers and wishes, the better.
We love you, Arwen and Bryan. Enjoy!
Most of you reading this either know or know of my friend Arwen. If you aren't reading her already, you really should be because she is amazing. As is her husband, Bryan. They are even more wonderful in person than online, a fact that Dave and I were lucky enough to discover last summer.
A few months ago, I talked a bit about how they were about to add TWINS to their family. And on May 12th, the identical twin boys arrived. Let me tell you - that night, awaiting their birth and trying to get the #moshertwins hashtag to trend was one of my favourite ever moments on Twitter! Linus Michael and Ambrose John were born a wee bit too early and are still in the NICU. Arwen and Bryan are total stars and are doing amazingly well with all this juggling. And since we can't all be there to help in person, we thought we'd do the next best thing - put together a Spiritual Bouquet for the Mosher Family.
I would love it if you'd head on over to this blog and contribute to the spiritual bouquet. I'd also love it if you could spread the word. The more prayers and wishes, the better.
We love you, Arwen and Bryan. Enjoy!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Veronica's Birth Story - Part 2
I am writing this as quickly as possible so that A'Dell can read it before she goes through HER second labour.
Part 1
Once I finally wrapped my head around the fact I was in labour -- and I' m usually not that dense, I swear! -- we settled in to the L&D room. I was delivering at a different hospital than the one at which I delivered Teddy, as the midwives had gained privileges at more hospitals around the city. The L&D rooms at Montfort, the primarily francophone hospital where I had Teddy - were very nice, but the ones at the Civic Hospital were not bad either. The Civic has a Level 2 NICU and is used to seeing sicker infants. As such, the staff don't panic when there are complications. We will ultimately discover how important this tendency is.
I once again had a cheering section and I attribute my ability to have two pain-med free deliveries to this support. In the room this time were Dave, midwife Jackie, primary doula Zoia, second midwife Amanda, and doula student Mary. Most pregnant friends express surprise at the number of people in the room, wondering if I was embarrassed. I have no problem telling them that by this point, you don't care who sees you, especially if it's people you trust. And having that many people to give you ice, to smooth back your hair, to cheer you on through the rough parts...I am tearing up just thinking about the amazing support I have received both times.
When I delivered Teddy, I had some crazy bleeding near the end. It was likely due to my anterior placenta and my totally exhausted uterus -- I ended up having to push Teddy out AFTER my tired uterus had stopped contracting. I needed to have pitocin to deliver the placenta, and I had to get an IV placed while Teddy was crowning. NOT fun, let me tell you. This time, we decided that I'd probably need pitocin again to help with the placenta. We got the IV placed while I was between contractions.
With the IV in place, I lamented to fact that I couldn't labour in the tub. When Jackie overheard me, she quickly set me straight - I could totally use the tub and we'd just work around the IV. She made me promise that I'd have to get out of the tub if my water broke and/or I had the urge to push. And once again, the tub was amazing. I was only in it for about 15 minutes, but it just like last time it made that last bit of transition a bit easier to bear. But I kept getting the urge to push, so back to the bed I went. It was just after 8 a.m.
I started to push, but the fact that my water hadn't broken combined with an anterior cervical lip (again) made progress painful. This stage was just awful. With Teddy, pushing was great - I was finally able to DO something with the pain from the contractions. But this time, I couldn't stop shaking, I was overheating, I thought I would throw up - it was just wretched. It came on so quickly this time. I had a minute or so of "I can't do this!!" moaning and groaning, but the cheering section kept cool clothes on my head and neck and kept encouraging me. My water hadn't yet broken, though, and it was impeding my pushing. Finally and with my permission, Jackie used an amnio hook broke my water and started a bit of pitocin for the eventual delivery of placenta. And that's when things started going a bit pear-shaped.
There was meconium in the amniotic fluid, which the midwives told us immediately. That meant that I'd need to have continuous monitoring from the bed for the remainder of the delivery rather than the intermittent doppler monitoring I'd had up to that point. It also meant that once she was born, an on-call pediatrician and crew would have to take her over to the warming table and clear her airway to prevent meconium aspiration. Jackie put the call in to the team, and I was dimly aware of a few people coming in to the room.
I pushed through the anterior lip with Jackie's help - she had to hold it down, just like Ann did the last time - and harnessed the contractions to push, push, push the baby down the birth canal. It was painful, but I knew that the sooner I got her out, the sooner we'd be able to deal with the meconium issue.
I pushed for 10 or 15 minutes, and this time I could feel how close she was to being delivered. And then, she was crowning. Jackie coached me through, pushing and panting at appropriate points. And then her head was out. I could hear her making some noise, but the midwives couldn't encourage it because they were worried about her aspirating the meconium.
But just like last time, things stalled. Amanda had been monitoring the baby's position the entire time. She'd come in to my pelvis on the left, but had down a corkscrew through my pelvis and came out on the right. In doing the corkscrew, she'd opened up her shoulders and come untucked. And she was stuck. Shoulder dystocia one again; I must have some pelvic craziness. And the crazy corkscrewing took its toll. Poor Veronica's entire face was bruised, and all of the blood vessels in her eyes burst. The whites of her eyes were red for three weeks.
Once the baby's head is out, you have 4 minutes to get the body out before you have to do an emergency c-section; sometimes they'll break the baby's arm to prevent this. They call in an OB team in this sort of potential emergency situation. With Teddy, we got him out after just over a minute. With Veronica, it was closer to 2.5. I pushed, Amanda pressed down into my abdomen to force the baby's shoulder to tuck, and Jackie reached in was finally able to haul her out, all 8 lbs and 15 oz of her. It was 8:46 a.m.
Poor Dave had a front row seat to all of this, but the worst part was that she had an APGAR of 3. She came out totally gray; Dave was petrified that she wouldn't make it. She was immediately whisked away to the cart to be in the care of the pediatrician and his team. They had to intubate her 3 times and do chest compressions in order to get her breathing steadily. But her second Apgar was 7, so she rebounded right away. And to their immense credit, the midwives and doulas reassured him right away that everything was going to be fine.
The pitocin really worked, because I delivered the placenta less than 2 minutes later. That's right - LESS THAN SIX HOURS from first contraction to delivery of placenta.
A lot of this time was a blur, as it happened so fast. But a few moments stand out. These include:
- the fact that everyone was so focused on the baby's breathing that the didn't pay attention to sex. The team kept saying "he'll be fine. He's fine." Finally, I called out "HE?!?". But the doulas and Dave assured me that it was, in fact, a girl.
- Jackie's astonished tone of voice when she pronounced "Your perineum is intact!" Frankly, with such a big baby and so much yanking down there, it's a minor miracle.
- Jackie and Amanda saying in a kind but serious way: "Sarah, promise us that you'll never attempt a home birth!"
After her 2nd APGAR, they brought her over to me. Her breathing had a bit of a hitch to it, and she wasn't terribly interested in nursing, but I snuggled with her while they cleaned me up.
More on the aftermath - my blood pressure spike, her initial nursing trouble - in the next installment.
Part 1
Once I finally wrapped my head around the fact I was in labour -- and I' m usually not that dense, I swear! -- we settled in to the L&D room. I was delivering at a different hospital than the one at which I delivered Teddy, as the midwives had gained privileges at more hospitals around the city. The L&D rooms at Montfort, the primarily francophone hospital where I had Teddy - were very nice, but the ones at the Civic Hospital were not bad either. The Civic has a Level 2 NICU and is used to seeing sicker infants. As such, the staff don't panic when there are complications. We will ultimately discover how important this tendency is.
I once again had a cheering section and I attribute my ability to have two pain-med free deliveries to this support. In the room this time were Dave, midwife Jackie, primary doula Zoia, second midwife Amanda, and doula student Mary. Most pregnant friends express surprise at the number of people in the room, wondering if I was embarrassed. I have no problem telling them that by this point, you don't care who sees you, especially if it's people you trust. And having that many people to give you ice, to smooth back your hair, to cheer you on through the rough parts...I am tearing up just thinking about the amazing support I have received both times.
When I delivered Teddy, I had some crazy bleeding near the end. It was likely due to my anterior placenta and my totally exhausted uterus -- I ended up having to push Teddy out AFTER my tired uterus had stopped contracting. I needed to have pitocin to deliver the placenta, and I had to get an IV placed while Teddy was crowning. NOT fun, let me tell you. This time, we decided that I'd probably need pitocin again to help with the placenta. We got the IV placed while I was between contractions.
With the IV in place, I lamented to fact that I couldn't labour in the tub. When Jackie overheard me, she quickly set me straight - I could totally use the tub and we'd just work around the IV. She made me promise that I'd have to get out of the tub if my water broke and/or I had the urge to push. And once again, the tub was amazing. I was only in it for about 15 minutes, but it just like last time it made that last bit of transition a bit easier to bear. But I kept getting the urge to push, so back to the bed I went. It was just after 8 a.m.
I started to push, but the fact that my water hadn't broken combined with an anterior cervical lip (again) made progress painful. This stage was just awful. With Teddy, pushing was great - I was finally able to DO something with the pain from the contractions. But this time, I couldn't stop shaking, I was overheating, I thought I would throw up - it was just wretched. It came on so quickly this time. I had a minute or so of "I can't do this!!" moaning and groaning, but the cheering section kept cool clothes on my head and neck and kept encouraging me. My water hadn't yet broken, though, and it was impeding my pushing. Finally and with my permission, Jackie used an amnio hook broke my water and started a bit of pitocin for the eventual delivery of placenta. And that's when things started going a bit pear-shaped.
There was meconium in the amniotic fluid, which the midwives told us immediately. That meant that I'd need to have continuous monitoring from the bed for the remainder of the delivery rather than the intermittent doppler monitoring I'd had up to that point. It also meant that once she was born, an on-call pediatrician and crew would have to take her over to the warming table and clear her airway to prevent meconium aspiration. Jackie put the call in to the team, and I was dimly aware of a few people coming in to the room.
I pushed through the anterior lip with Jackie's help - she had to hold it down, just like Ann did the last time - and harnessed the contractions to push, push, push the baby down the birth canal. It was painful, but I knew that the sooner I got her out, the sooner we'd be able to deal with the meconium issue.
I pushed for 10 or 15 minutes, and this time I could feel how close she was to being delivered. And then, she was crowning. Jackie coached me through, pushing and panting at appropriate points. And then her head was out. I could hear her making some noise, but the midwives couldn't encourage it because they were worried about her aspirating the meconium.
But just like last time, things stalled. Amanda had been monitoring the baby's position the entire time. She'd come in to my pelvis on the left, but had down a corkscrew through my pelvis and came out on the right. In doing the corkscrew, she'd opened up her shoulders and come untucked. And she was stuck. Shoulder dystocia one again; I must have some pelvic craziness. And the crazy corkscrewing took its toll. Poor Veronica's entire face was bruised, and all of the blood vessels in her eyes burst. The whites of her eyes were red for three weeks.
Once the baby's head is out, you have 4 minutes to get the body out before you have to do an emergency c-section; sometimes they'll break the baby's arm to prevent this. They call in an OB team in this sort of potential emergency situation. With Teddy, we got him out after just over a minute. With Veronica, it was closer to 2.5. I pushed, Amanda pressed down into my abdomen to force the baby's shoulder to tuck, and Jackie reached in was finally able to haul her out, all 8 lbs and 15 oz of her. It was 8:46 a.m.
Poor Dave had a front row seat to all of this, but the worst part was that she had an APGAR of 3. She came out totally gray; Dave was petrified that she wouldn't make it. She was immediately whisked away to the cart to be in the care of the pediatrician and his team. They had to intubate her 3 times and do chest compressions in order to get her breathing steadily. But her second Apgar was 7, so she rebounded right away. And to their immense credit, the midwives and doulas reassured him right away that everything was going to be fine.
The pitocin really worked, because I delivered the placenta less than 2 minutes later. That's right - LESS THAN SIX HOURS from first contraction to delivery of placenta.
A lot of this time was a blur, as it happened so fast. But a few moments stand out. These include:
- the fact that everyone was so focused on the baby's breathing that the didn't pay attention to sex. The team kept saying "he'll be fine. He's fine." Finally, I called out "HE?!?". But the doulas and Dave assured me that it was, in fact, a girl.
- Jackie's astonished tone of voice when she pronounced "Your perineum is intact!" Frankly, with such a big baby and so much yanking down there, it's a minor miracle.
- Jackie and Amanda saying in a kind but serious way: "Sarah, promise us that you'll never attempt a home birth!"
After her 2nd APGAR, they brought her over to me. Her breathing had a bit of a hitch to it, and she wasn't terribly interested in nursing, but I snuggled with her while they cleaned me up.
More on the aftermath - my blood pressure spike, her initial nursing trouble - in the next installment.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Veronica's Birth Story - Part 1
This is only 8 months late {hangs head sheepishly}. Better late than never, right.
My irritable uterus had me leave work in the middle of July, and I spent the remainder of that month and all of August taking it easy to prevent contractions. And boy, by my midwife appointment on Monday the 23rd, I was tired of being pregnant. I was at 39 weeks, 3 days when I met with my secondary midwife Jackie. The first thing we discussed? Was our mutual belief that she'd be delivering the baby rather than my primary midwife, Claudia. But I'd really clicked with Jackie so that was no problem at all. In fact, Teddy had been delivered by my secondary midwife with whom I'd also clicked.
During the appointment, had a lengthy discussion about shoulder dystocia (when the baby's shoulder gets stuck during delivery) as I'd had it with Teddy. We reviewed all the techniques that midwives can do if it occurs. She measured the baby, who was measuring almost 41 cm. Though the baby was left occiput anterior, Jackie had trouble finding the head, so asked if she could do an internal to see if the baby's head was in my pelvis. I agreed, and asked her to check my cervix to see if anything was going in. Baby's head was as predicted, and my cervix showed no dilation. "You need a few good contractions to get things moving," Jackie told me.
I'd been suffering from pregnancy-related insomnia for much of the third trimester. Late that evening, I headed over to Isha's house to pick up some cloth diaper stuff, and I caught sight of myself in their mirrored closet. "UH!" I thought. "I look so bloated and awful." But I was convinced that it would be a while; I told Ish that much as I departed around 11. I came home, said goodnight to Dave (who'd been sleeping in the guest room to give me the whole bed) and was able to fall asleep around 2 am.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up at 3 am to very strong contractions.
I should give you some context. In the days before having Teddy, I'd have contractions overnight, but they'd fade in the morning. I was in passive, then active labour with Teddy for 28 hours, with three hours of pushing, and my contractions NEVER got closer than 6 minutes apart. NEVER. It was a labour that confounded my doulas (one of whom - Zoia - was coming along for the ride this time, too).
So, when intense contractions started, I thought "Ok. These will help my cervix ripen. No big deal." As with Teddy, the most comfortable position for me was standing and swaying through the contractions. I didn't want to wake Dave until I had to, in case this was a false alarm. So I breathed and swayed and glanced at the alarm clock. "Odd", I thought. "These contractions are less than 5 minutes apart. I wonder when they'll slow down?"
Just before five, the contractions became so intense that I had to moan through them. They woke Dave, and he joined me and began timing. He was totally taken aback as the contractions were between 2 and 3 minutes apart, lasting at least a minute. He suggested that we call the midwife and the doula, just to alert them. "It's too early - I don't want to disturb them," I implored him. "Let's wait until 6". We made it to 5:30.
We called Zoia first. "It might be nothing," Dave said, as I was breathing through another contraction and couldn't stop to talk. "We'll check back in within a half hour if things don't slow down". Zoia, no fool, grabbed her stuff and started loading the car. We paged the midwife. We called my parents, letting them know that they'd need to come in to look after Teddy. Jackie called back, and spoke to Dave as I was once again breathing through the contraction. She heard the story and listened to my protests that "it might be a false alarm."
"Sarah," she interrupted me, "If you water breaks, call an ambulance. Meet me at the hospital as soon as you can."
Dave called Zoia back. She was already en route to our house. She arrived just after 6, and for the second time in my life, witnessed me losing my sh*t in our ensuite bathroom. "Zoia, I am not handling this well. I am not sure I can do it!!" I kept saying. She helped me breathe through the worst of it, and when I was coping better, suggested that she head to the hospital. We'd meet her there as soon as my parents arrived.
My Mom and Dad got here at about 6:40. My Mom thought that Dave had said the contractions were 4 minutes apart. "Let's go to Tim Horton's", she suggested to my protesting Dad. They got here, I said a distracted goodbye to Teddy, and off to the hospital we went...right when traffic was picking up.
Mercifully, my contractions slowed down a bit while en route to the hospital. I had to breathe through a few, but they were bearable. This lead me to believe that it was a false alarm. Yeah - I'm super swift.
Zoia was waiting at the hospital entrance, so Dave dropped me off. We headed up to L&D around 7, as the new shift was starting. I stopped three or four times to get through contractions on my way up. Jackie was waiting for us. "It might still be a false alarm." I kept saying. "You are going to have this baby very soon," she told me. We skipped the exam room and headed right into a L&D room, where I changed. Jackie checked me and proclaimed: "You're 10 centimetres dilated and the amniotic sac is bulging."
"Um, ok. Not a false alarm, then," was my witty reply. I looked at the clock. It was 7:20 a.m.
My irritable uterus had me leave work in the middle of July, and I spent the remainder of that month and all of August taking it easy to prevent contractions. And boy, by my midwife appointment on Monday the 23rd, I was tired of being pregnant. I was at 39 weeks, 3 days when I met with my secondary midwife Jackie. The first thing we discussed? Was our mutual belief that she'd be delivering the baby rather than my primary midwife, Claudia. But I'd really clicked with Jackie so that was no problem at all. In fact, Teddy had been delivered by my secondary midwife with whom I'd also clicked.
During the appointment, had a lengthy discussion about shoulder dystocia (when the baby's shoulder gets stuck during delivery) as I'd had it with Teddy. We reviewed all the techniques that midwives can do if it occurs. She measured the baby, who was measuring almost 41 cm. Though the baby was left occiput anterior, Jackie had trouble finding the head, so asked if she could do an internal to see if the baby's head was in my pelvis. I agreed, and asked her to check my cervix to see if anything was going in. Baby's head was as predicted, and my cervix showed no dilation. "You need a few good contractions to get things moving," Jackie told me.
I'd been suffering from pregnancy-related insomnia for much of the third trimester. Late that evening, I headed over to Isha's house to pick up some cloth diaper stuff, and I caught sight of myself in their mirrored closet. "UH!" I thought. "I look so bloated and awful." But I was convinced that it would be a while; I told Ish that much as I departed around 11. I came home, said goodnight to Dave (who'd been sleeping in the guest room to give me the whole bed) and was able to fall asleep around 2 am.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up at 3 am to very strong contractions.
I should give you some context. In the days before having Teddy, I'd have contractions overnight, but they'd fade in the morning. I was in passive, then active labour with Teddy for 28 hours, with three hours of pushing, and my contractions NEVER got closer than 6 minutes apart. NEVER. It was a labour that confounded my doulas (one of whom - Zoia - was coming along for the ride this time, too).
So, when intense contractions started, I thought "Ok. These will help my cervix ripen. No big deal." As with Teddy, the most comfortable position for me was standing and swaying through the contractions. I didn't want to wake Dave until I had to, in case this was a false alarm. So I breathed and swayed and glanced at the alarm clock. "Odd", I thought. "These contractions are less than 5 minutes apart. I wonder when they'll slow down?"
Just before five, the contractions became so intense that I had to moan through them. They woke Dave, and he joined me and began timing. He was totally taken aback as the contractions were between 2 and 3 minutes apart, lasting at least a minute. He suggested that we call the midwife and the doula, just to alert them. "It's too early - I don't want to disturb them," I implored him. "Let's wait until 6". We made it to 5:30.
We called Zoia first. "It might be nothing," Dave said, as I was breathing through another contraction and couldn't stop to talk. "We'll check back in within a half hour if things don't slow down". Zoia, no fool, grabbed her stuff and started loading the car. We paged the midwife. We called my parents, letting them know that they'd need to come in to look after Teddy. Jackie called back, and spoke to Dave as I was once again breathing through the contraction. She heard the story and listened to my protests that "it might be a false alarm."
"Sarah," she interrupted me, "If you water breaks, call an ambulance. Meet me at the hospital as soon as you can."
Dave called Zoia back. She was already en route to our house. She arrived just after 6, and for the second time in my life, witnessed me losing my sh*t in our ensuite bathroom. "Zoia, I am not handling this well. I am not sure I can do it!!" I kept saying. She helped me breathe through the worst of it, and when I was coping better, suggested that she head to the hospital. We'd meet her there as soon as my parents arrived.
My Mom and Dad got here at about 6:40. My Mom thought that Dave had said the contractions were 4 minutes apart. "Let's go to Tim Horton's", she suggested to my protesting Dad. They got here, I said a distracted goodbye to Teddy, and off to the hospital we went...right when traffic was picking up.
Mercifully, my contractions slowed down a bit while en route to the hospital. I had to breathe through a few, but they were bearable. This lead me to believe that it was a false alarm. Yeah - I'm super swift.
Zoia was waiting at the hospital entrance, so Dave dropped me off. We headed up to L&D around 7, as the new shift was starting. I stopped three or four times to get through contractions on my way up. Jackie was waiting for us. "It might still be a false alarm." I kept saying. "You are going to have this baby very soon," she told me. We skipped the exam room and headed right into a L&D room, where I changed. Jackie checked me and proclaimed: "You're 10 centimetres dilated and the amniotic sac is bulging."
"Um, ok. Not a false alarm, then," was my witty reply. I looked at the clock. It was 7:20 a.m.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Fair warning: off-colour humour ahead.
As the title says - fair warning.
Last week, I gave Beth the gift that just keeps on giving. That's right. I gave my best friend herpes and gonorrhea. I got an email with the subject "YOU GAVE ME THE CLAP!".
Beth has a number of stuffed giant microbes from a company called Giant Microbes. When I discovered that they made these, I could not resist sending her some. Come on. The jokes just make themselves.
The MAIN reason I sent them, though, was because I wanted to support the store that sells them. Mortimer Snodgrass, an adorable and wonderful store in the heart of historic Old Montreal, is owned an operated by the lovely Virginia of Mortimer's Mom (a blog I miss!). In an INFURIATING turn of events, a CITY-OWNED building next to the store has collapsed and the municipal government (notoriously ineffective) seems uninterested in the damage it is inflicting on hardworking local small business owners. The repairs might take months to complete, right in the middle of peak a tourist season. It is totally safe to get to the store, but with the only signage in French, many shoppers are avoiding the area entirely.
It makes my blood boil that this charming little store is struggling because of the ineptitude of the city government, a government who'd been warned that this building was in danger of collapsing. I am a civil servant, and this sort of behaviour makes me ashamed. I can't do much to help, but I can do some shopping. Yes - Mortimer Snodgrass has an amazing online store with the BEST customer service I've ever encountered. With so many pregnant friends, I need lots of gifts! Plus, they ship worldwide.
Look at some of the great stuff they have, you guys! Check out the matching shirts that Teddy and Veronica will be sporting this summer. The staff recommended this storage caddy/tote and I love it so much that I'm buying more as gifts. These bibs are adorable and huge hits in our house. There are water bottles, ice molds, books, umbrellas, bags, toys...so many fun things.
If you are looking for something fun, I cannot recommend them enough. Don't let the dumb bureaucracy win, people. Shop Mortimer Snodgrass. You will be so glad that you did!
Last week, I gave Beth the gift that just keeps on giving. That's right. I gave my best friend herpes and gonorrhea. I got an email with the subject "YOU GAVE ME THE CLAP!".
Beth has a number of stuffed giant microbes from a company called Giant Microbes. When I discovered that they made these, I could not resist sending her some. Come on. The jokes just make themselves.
The MAIN reason I sent them, though, was because I wanted to support the store that sells them. Mortimer Snodgrass, an adorable and wonderful store in the heart of historic Old Montreal, is owned an operated by the lovely Virginia of Mortimer's Mom (a blog I miss!). In an INFURIATING turn of events, a CITY-OWNED building next to the store has collapsed and the municipal government (notoriously ineffective) seems uninterested in the damage it is inflicting on hardworking local small business owners. The repairs might take months to complete, right in the middle of peak a tourist season. It is totally safe to get to the store, but with the only signage in French, many shoppers are avoiding the area entirely.
It makes my blood boil that this charming little store is struggling because of the ineptitude of the city government, a government who'd been warned that this building was in danger of collapsing. I am a civil servant, and this sort of behaviour makes me ashamed. I can't do much to help, but I can do some shopping. Yes - Mortimer Snodgrass has an amazing online store with the BEST customer service I've ever encountered. With so many pregnant friends, I need lots of gifts! Plus, they ship worldwide.
Look at some of the great stuff they have, you guys! Check out the matching shirts that Teddy and Veronica will be sporting this summer. The staff recommended this storage caddy/tote and I love it so much that I'm buying more as gifts. These bibs are adorable and huge hits in our house. There are water bottles, ice molds, books, umbrellas, bags, toys...so many fun things.
If you are looking for something fun, I cannot recommend them enough. Don't let the dumb bureaucracy win, people. Shop Mortimer Snodgrass. You will be so glad that you did!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Ten Facts About Me and My Better Half
The wonderful Hallie (aka Betty Beguiles) asked us to do similar posts, and here's mine!
ONE
I have known Dave since Kindergarten; he was in grade 2. We both went to St. Francis of Assisi elementary school in Georgetown, ON. Our childhood homes were 5 minutes apart ON FOOT. Two years is a huge deal at the age, though, so we weren't friends. But our school only had 200 or so students, so we knew each other and have a number of shared teachers and memories.
TWO
We became good friends during high school during which we were in musicals together. We really started hanging out because my friend Jen (hey Jen!) had a crush on him when they worked together at the same pizza place. She would take my bus home as it was also Dave's bus, and we all started hanging out. They never dated, but Dave did date 3 of my friends prior to me. None were terribly serious. I also dated a several guys, including three bests friends in sequence.
During this period of not dating, Dave slowly grew to be one of my closest friends.
THREE
We finally started dating in the summer of 1995, when I was 17 and about to enter my last year of high school. Dave had take some time off between high school and University, so we spent a tonne of time together to my Dad's initial chagrin. I didn't get distracted, though - I still graduated with the highest average and was the lead in the musical on top of other extra curricular activities. Nerd!
FOUR
Dave and I went to schools that were 4 hours apart. We broke up during our 2nd year of University, but we remained close friends. We both dated other people, but nothing lasted. This break up was vital, though. We - me especially - needed to be apart to realize just how much we were meant to be together. It was difficult for me, as we'd started dating when I was still unable to legally vote -- how was I to be SURE this was the right path?
FIVE
We got back together just after Christmas of our final year of undergrad. In retrospect, it's comical how many signals God sent me about Dave. The final straw was when I realized "I compare every man out there to Dave. If he's my benchmark, why am I not dating the benchmark?!?" And he was all for reuniting. That was over 11 years ago.
SIX
When we reunited, one thing he really wanted to do was to travel with me. One day at a pub, we sat down and discussed all the places we wanted to travel. I jotted the list down on a napkin, which I kept in my wallet. In July of 2003, he nabbed the list and added: "I'll make sure that we'll go to all of these places but there's one condition...Will You Marry Me?"
SEVEN
We got married on October 9, 2004 in our childhood parish, Holy Cross. The newly-ordained son of our high school Geography teacher married us. The week before we got married, I moved to Ottawa for work. He followed immediately after our honeymoon. As such, our entire married life has been here in Ottawa.
FYI - Our wedding song was "The Way You Look Tonight" sung by Frank Sinatra. We both agree, though, that we were to pick again, we'd pick "As Time Goes By" as we love Casablanca.
EIGHT
His middle name is Thomas, after his maternal grandfather. His paternal grandmother (the incomparable Nanny Bessie) used to call him "Doubting Thomas" and she was right. If he is skeptical, he requires oodles of convincing.
NINE
He is a loving son, a devoted son-in-law and a phenomenal father. He is also bearded. Teddy has his hands and feet while Veronica has his eyes.
TEN
He is incredibly kind. He is hilarious and witty. He is wonderful with children. There is no one with whom I'd rather spend time or grow old.
ONE
I have known Dave since Kindergarten; he was in grade 2. We both went to St. Francis of Assisi elementary school in Georgetown, ON. Our childhood homes were 5 minutes apart ON FOOT. Two years is a huge deal at the age, though, so we weren't friends. But our school only had 200 or so students, so we knew each other and have a number of shared teachers and memories.
TWO
We became good friends during high school during which we were in musicals together. We really started hanging out because my friend Jen (hey Jen!) had a crush on him when they worked together at the same pizza place. She would take my bus home as it was also Dave's bus, and we all started hanging out. They never dated, but Dave did date 3 of my friends prior to me. None were terribly serious. I also dated a several guys, including three bests friends in sequence.
During this period of not dating, Dave slowly grew to be one of my closest friends.
THREE
We finally started dating in the summer of 1995, when I was 17 and about to enter my last year of high school. Dave had take some time off between high school and University, so we spent a tonne of time together to my Dad's initial chagrin. I didn't get distracted, though - I still graduated with the highest average and was the lead in the musical on top of other extra curricular activities. Nerd!
FOUR
Dave and I went to schools that were 4 hours apart. We broke up during our 2nd year of University, but we remained close friends. We both dated other people, but nothing lasted. This break up was vital, though. We - me especially - needed to be apart to realize just how much we were meant to be together. It was difficult for me, as we'd started dating when I was still unable to legally vote -- how was I to be SURE this was the right path?
FIVE
We got back together just after Christmas of our final year of undergrad. In retrospect, it's comical how many signals God sent me about Dave. The final straw was when I realized "I compare every man out there to Dave. If he's my benchmark, why am I not dating the benchmark?!?" And he was all for reuniting. That was over 11 years ago.
SIX
When we reunited, one thing he really wanted to do was to travel with me. One day at a pub, we sat down and discussed all the places we wanted to travel. I jotted the list down on a napkin, which I kept in my wallet. In July of 2003, he nabbed the list and added: "I'll make sure that we'll go to all of these places but there's one condition...Will You Marry Me?"
SEVEN
We got married on October 9, 2004 in our childhood parish, Holy Cross. The newly-ordained son of our high school Geography teacher married us. The week before we got married, I moved to Ottawa for work. He followed immediately after our honeymoon. As such, our entire married life has been here in Ottawa.
FYI - Our wedding song was "The Way You Look Tonight" sung by Frank Sinatra. We both agree, though, that we were to pick again, we'd pick "As Time Goes By" as we love Casablanca.
EIGHT
His middle name is Thomas, after his maternal grandfather. His paternal grandmother (the incomparable Nanny Bessie) used to call him "Doubting Thomas" and she was right. If he is skeptical, he requires oodles of convincing.
NINE
He is a loving son, a devoted son-in-law and a phenomenal father. He is also bearded. Teddy has his hands and feet while Veronica has his eyes.
TEN
He is incredibly kind. He is hilarious and witty. He is wonderful with children. There is no one with whom I'd rather spend time or grow old.
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